Developing Discipline: 5 Success Strategies
Last week I talked about determination being one of the 3 Ds to success. Today, I want to talk about discipline. Having discipline means working when you don't feel like it, doing the hard things you know will move the needle and acting not with your desire for immediate gratification in mind, but the goal you're trying to achieve.
Discipline is hard work that pays off. In order to discipline yourself, you have to learn what it takes for you personally and set up a plan of action based on your strengths, weaknesses and goals. That means getting rid of the things in your life that don't support reaching your goal or building in your growth plan and the activities that will.
For instance, discipline may mean getting up early to exercise or it could be setting aside time at the end of your day for reflection. Sometimes discipline is about doing what you don't want to do with a positive attitude and sometimes it's about saying no when something comes along that doesn't fit in with your long-term goals.
5 strategies for developing discipline
Know your why
You can call it your motivation or raising necessity, but the bottom line is that we all must know the why behind what we’re doing. Knowing why, is your motivation behind the effort. Your why can be intrinsic, such as buying that beach house property you’ve had your eye on or it can be extrinsic, such as doing it for your kids or your mom. We are all different and how we hold ourselves accountable differs. For me, now that I’m on this entrepreneurial journey, it’s proving to myself that I can be successful outside of the corporate world and being a role model for other women who might be thinking of embarking on a similar journey (intrinsic). For my friend, the decisions she makes are driven by her love for her kids (extrinsic).
Commit to your goal
Once we know the why, we must have clarity about the what! What is it that we want to accomplish? What is our goal? What is our end game? Once we know this, it’s time to commit. We must decide that nothing will stop us from achieving what we set out to do; not the naysayers, distractions or other people involved in our goal. Our discipline lies here – committing and showing up every day knowing we are moving one step closer to achieving our goal.
And we can't really achieve a goal without having a plan. Olympic athletes don't just show up to practice willy-nilly. They work hard every time they show up. They improve and fine-tune every step of the way. That gold medal is their end game and, together with their coach, they map out the road to success. They know what milestones they need to reach and what the next step is once they reach it. They maximize their strengths and work on their mindset and weaknesses.
Build the right habits
Willpower will only get you so far. It turns out we have a limited amount of willpower on any given day. Psychological researchers have a name for this phenomenon: ego depletion. The theory is that willpower is connected to a limited reserve of mental energy, and once we run out of that energy, we’re more likely to lose self-control (www.hbr.org). This theory explains perfectly why, if you love candy and you're trying to limit how many you eat, you can walk by a bowl only so many times before you end up grabbing a handful. That happened to me when I was in corporate. A colleague always had candy, nuts, chocolate by her desk for everyone to partake in. I knew that if I walked by her desk I would eventually give into temptation. I used to purposely take a detour, so I wouldn't be tempted!
Building powerful habits to help you stay focused helps you rely less on your willpower. For example, if you want to build an exercise regimen, setting a consistent time in the day to devote yourself to taking care of your body can be a good strategy. For me, it's waking up earlier so I have to time to do it before the day starts because I know if I wait until the end of the day, it will never happen.
Now for some stats! According to Healthline, it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit and an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. In my personal experience, 21 days is not enough for something to become habitual. I lean closer to the 66-day average. What about you?
One recommendation I feel strongly about is getting in the habit of getting some rest. Even a finely tuned machine needs to refuel before they can keep going and your phone will not run endlessly on one charge. We're no different. Get some sleep. It's as important as doing the hard work!
Prioritize effectively and measure your progress
Everything we do in the day in the pursuit of our goals will either drive us closer to success or pull us away from it. To stay on track, I love asking myself the following two key questions:
1. What should I stop, start, and continue doing?
- Get rid of the distractions: Do you know what throws you off-track? What's that rabbit hole you can't help but go down in when it comes across your path? I have two big ones: games on my phone and TV series. So, what do I do? I don't keep games on my phone, and I use my lunch hour to catch up on one TV episode. It helps me to stay on track and satisfies the craving just as well. What do you need to park or manage?
- What are the things that you know you should be doing but are not? Do you need to get over your fear of getting behind the camera (that's me)? Do you need to lace up those sneakers? How about making those calls you keep putting off? The possibilities are endless, and the point is to learn to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. If you don't know how to do something, learn it, recruit someone who can help you or model what someone else is doing
- Double down on what you're doing well. The purpose is two-fold: 1. it helps to build your confidence and 2. It gives you some wins you can hang your hat on!
2. What Must I do and what is Nice to do?
Identify your needle-movers and focus on the things that will bring you closer to achieving your goal more quickly. There will always be time for the nice-to-haves, until they become must-haves. When they do, you can take them on. Until then, become a master delegator! Farm out some of the stuff you might like to do to someone else, so you can focus on the right things.
Something else which is critical; measure your progress. Sometimes as we grow and reach for our goal, we may need to adjust. Maybe something didn't go as planned or the result was not what you expected. If you know you're heading straight into a brick wall at 100 mph, do you keep going until you hit it? If you don't periodically take a step back and assess what you've done vs. what the goal was, that may be exactly what you're doing. We need to have the humility to take stock, accept that something isn't working and re-tool how we want to move forward. Flexibility in thought and action is a trait growth-oriented people embody because it serves them well. They know that although ego has its place, sometimes you must set it aside and do the hard thing.
Build your tribe
If you want to succeed, find people who are already doing what you're trying to do. Pick their brains and try out some of the strategies they've used, on your journey. Most people are willing to help others reach their goals because they know first-hand how difficult the journey can be. Maybe there’s a way you can make the relationship benefit both of you?
Not sure where to find them? Networking is a great way to find like-minded individual. Look for mentors. Did someone in your company succeed in the way you’re looking to succeed? Reach out to them and schedule some time in their agenda. Talk to them about what you want to accomplish and ask if they could meet with you periodically to provide some guidance. If you’re an entrepreneur, is there someone in your network who has seen the success in their business which you are looking to reach? Model their behaviors, understand their growth journey, and draw inspiration from what they’ve achieved.
Surrounding yourself with high performers will help you grow into who you need to be and if you’re already there, will inspire you to continue on your journey.
Final Thoughts
Effort is the currency of discipline, and discipline will lead you to success. It's not sexy nor easy but it works when nothing else does. We all have 24 hours in a day; how we spend them determines our lives' narrative. If you want something enough, show up for it every single day until your dream becomes a reality.
My challenge to you this week is to commit to developing the discipline to reach your goals. I’d love to hear what that looks like for you, so leave a thought in the comments!
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