7 Steps to Greater Clarity in Your Life
“You must first clearly see a thing in your mind before you can do it.” – Alex Morrison
Do you remember playing Blind Man’s Bluff when you were a kid? If not, let me refresh your memory. It’s a variation of Tag, where the person who is “It” is blindfolded and must find other players around the room and then guess who they are when they catch them.
Life can be hard at times and when you're playing a game of Blind Man's Bluff because of a lack clarity, it can become overwhelming. There are so many things to do, and it can be hard to know what is really important. But clarity changes everything. Among other things, it helps us figure out what’s most important to us, how it can be achieved and whose support we need to make it happen. Clarity enables us to live a life of purpose--a meaningful life that has an impact on those around us and the world at large.
4 areas of clarity
We all want to feel proud of the lives we have impacted when our time is up. To do this, we need to be able to answers questions to bring about that clarity in 4 aspects of life:
- Ourselves: Who do we want to be? Who do we need to grow into? How do we show up as our best self? What are our goals?
- Our relationships: How do we want people to feel when they connect with us? How do we want others to see us?
- Our growth: What new skills do we need to develop to achieve our goals? Where are the opportunities to skill up? How do we prioritize our growth?
- Our impact: What legacy do we want to leave? What do we want our life to be all about? Where we fit into the world around us?
I'm not sure I'll ever reach my full potential as an individual but there's one thing I hope to be remembered by: I made a difference in the lives of those around me and inspired them to live their best life.
I love what Diane von Furstenberg said: “Clarity is the most important thing. I can compare clarity to pruning in gardening. You know, you need to be clear. If you are not clear, nothing is going to happen. You have to be clear. Then you have to be confident about your vision. And after that, you just have to put a lot of work in.”
When we are clear on the 4 areas above, we can purposefully design how and what you want to change. We have the right information and internal compass to identify the right opportunities when they come along and we continually improve our performance. Here are 7 steps you can follow to gain more clarity in your life.
Step 1 - Define your personal values
The best place to start is by understanding your personal values. Values are guiding principles that provide direction for living our lives with meaning and purpose. Your life will be shaped not only by what you do every day but also why you do it.
Values can either guide or misguide us depending on which ones we choose. Here are some tips for coming up with your own list:
- Who am I when I'm living at my best? Which qualities does my ideal self possess?
- What do I want in life?
- What motivates me the most?
I would also suggest making two lists:
- Your Love / Loathe list: what are the things you love, which bring you joy and energy and what are the things that drain your energy and make you feel downright terrible?
- Identify your Big Rocks / Little rocks: Imagine your life as a beaker and you want to fill it with the things you've identified from your love list. What's the best way to make sure it's as full as possible? You wouldn't put in a bunch of little rocks to start, right? You'd make sure you fill it with the bigger rocks first, then smaller ones and finally, sand. The objective is to fill it with the things that bring you the most joy, happiness and meaning first.
Step 2 - Determine your baseline
To know where you’re going, you need to know where you are. I highly recommend filling out the Life Arenas Assessment by clicking on this link. This is a self-reporting questionnaire covering the main areas of your life: Health, Mental/Emotional, Partner/Lover, Family, Friends, Mission, Experiences, Spirit, Finances and Learning. Be honest with yourself. There is no pass or fail. It’s simply a measurement at a given point in time.
Once you complete the exercise, you'll have a very good idea where your areas of strength and opportunities for improvement are. Identify the biggest needle movers based on your answers to the questions above and park the rest. You will always have the opportunity to return to them when and if needed.
Step 3 - Establish growth goals and Identify a learning plan
Now that you have your needle movers, you must define your goals. You can use the SMART method, or any other that suits your needs. I find what works best for me is to be specific and have a clear deadline.
Once you know where you’re focusing, do your research and identify your learning plan. There are different levels of learning, each building on each other:
Books - the easiest and most accessible resource
Training - can be done online and there are many free resources available, such as Coursera
Seminars - best done in person, so you can benefit from social learning
Coaching - most hands on and focused development with a given curriculum
What is the best place for you to start?
Step 4 - Put the right habits in place
Very little gets done unless we have the right habits in place. Take stock of your current habits and ask: are they serving or hindering you? If they’re hindering you, what positive and supportive habits can you replace them with?
Some might include: eating to feed your brain, journaling, practicing meditation and mindfulness, exercising, getting rid of the drama in your life.
Step 5 - Define your support system
We all need a little help from our friends, family, colleagues or mentors.
Determine who in your circle can help you on your growth journey. Maybe there are people you admire who are super clear in their goals and how they go about achieving them. Having a conversation with them can help you glean some insights which can help you accelerate your own growth.
Step 6 - Find a tracking process that works for you
Peter Drucker once said “if you can't measure it, you can't improve it.” No truer words have been said. What process do you use to monitor your growth? I do weekly assessment which allows me to look at my intentions and accomplishments vs. my goals for the week and I can clearly see what’s working and what's not. That allows me to adjust and recommit to my objectives.
Step 7 - Enjoy the journey
The last step is really to have some fun along the way!
Final Thoughts
Who among us doesn't have moments where clarity is lacking? We don’t know what to do, we feel overwhelmed with the things on our plate and it can be hard to figure out what really matters. But when we get our act together and clearly define who we are, how we want to show up and what our goals are, we become unstoppable and can live a well lived life. I would love to hear from you about how you've overcome a lack of clarity in your own lives or if this post helped clarify something for you. Share below!
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